Amsterdam Weekend

I've honestly tried to start this post four times and have yet to find a good place to begin. In one word, wow. Amsterdam is well, bananas...After touring Legal London on Friday, our group used the bus that took us to London as a makeshift dressing room to throw on our clothes and head to the airport to catch our first flight with the lovely Easy Jet Airline. I'm pretty certain the pilot was either a beginner, had one eye, or simply fell asleep half way to Amsterdam. After the normal speech about flight time and weather, which he said was absolutely beautiful in Amsterdam, we managed to start drifting into clouds. About 3 minutes later, I honestly was looking for the saddle and my cowboy hat, because we flew directly into a thunderstorm. I've never seen a flight attendant stop serving drinks, grab the coffee pot and sprint to his seat in the back of the plane so he wasn't doing cartwheels into the ceiling. After it was over, the pilot came over the intercom and said "sorry folks, the weather suprised me!" Suprised you? Seriously? Whoops, didn't see that 40,000 foot tall thundstorm cloud directly in front of the plane. Guess those things can sneak up on you...

As for Amsterdam itself...Let me disclaim by saying this post will not do our trip justice. Experiencing that place yourself is the only true way to get a feel for Amsterdam. Let me start with our glorious accomodations. When we booked this trip, we found this Hostel online and noticed there were flat screen TV's in the rooms. We booked it. Did we worry about the beds? No. Did we worry about the reviews? Nah. Did we worry if they even cleaned the rooms, had a bathroom, or even had locks on the doors? Of course not. When we checked in and got to our room, the first thing we see is a 50 year old, what seemed to be Romanian man in our room. Of course my friends are nice enough to let me have the bed beside him. Ok, let me put it this way. Have you seen Borat? Remeber Borat's friend that runs around naked and wears whitey tighties? He was my neighbor the first night in Amsterdam. And he was in costume...whitey tighties. He smelled like Forrest Gump's Feet after running across America. Did I mention that it was a constant, frigid, 85 degrees in our room at all times? So after settling in to our rooms for the evening, we decided to hit the town. One of our good friends from Arkansas, Katy, was in Amsterdam as well and joined us. After claiming she found the "hot spot" to go to, we followed her for what I would say was 3 to 4 miles trying to find the clubs. Ironically enough, the name was "Club Smokey." This was hands down one of the most intense clubs I've ever been to, ever. Just start doing the techno beat in your head and imagine the walls shaking and your h\ears just thumping to that all night. Throw in a crazy light show and 3,000 people you don't know from foreign countries who still think CK One is a popular cologne/perfume and you have that bar.

After a good night's rest, a lost pair of dress socks and some lunch, we began our first day in Amsterdam. Being the cultural people that we are, we all took a canal tour of the city. We had our own boat and guide which was awesome. I think his name was Beeno, or at least that's what I called him. This was a pretty cool way to see the city, take some pictures and get us out of the Hostel and away from my Romanian friend. After the boat tour, we wanted to see more of what the city had to offer. The boat guys told us there were places where people try to get their start in acting, I guess a Broadway in a very low budget sort of way, so we went to check it out...

We then proceeded to Amsterdam's entertainment district. There are areas that have cheap, kinda local actor, plays. Anyway, we went and it included two free drinks, which was our justification. I don't think we'll be seeing these people on Saturday Night Live any time soon. They liked to get the crowd involved, which was the highlight of the play. The only problem is that it was so dark in the room and the stage lighting was so poor, they had to light candles to help you see. Weird I know. Beer and candles doesn't seem like a safe combo, but whatever. We were going to try to get some autographs incase they became famous, but we never could find a pen or sharpie. Mary Jordan was able to talk to one of the actors outside the play and gave him a big "dankyou" for all of us.

After getting the cultural stuff out of the way, we got the bright idea to enjoy a pub crawl. After waiting in line for 3 minutes at first bar, we changed our minds, and went on our own. Good call. We found some little local bar that was playing the World Cup, had drinks and enjoyed none other than "house music" which consists of nothing but techno. They could turn KC and JoJo into a techno remix. After the local pub, we found what had to be the biggest techno club in Amsterdam. It was huge. Dance offs seemed to be a good theme for the night, and again, the air conditioning was lacking. This is when we finally strolled through the famous Red Light District. You all know it's there, so why hide it. It's border line hillarious. All you see are random windows lit up red with girls standing in what look like 1970's Halloween costumes trying to waive you over. After walking around for a bit, and some late night food, we then called it a night. The 4th of July was coming up.

Independence Day in another country? How can you celebrate? What could be more American than eating at Hard Rock Cafe, enjoying Budweiser and singing The National Anthem while standing with hand over heart in the middle of the restaurant. God Bless the U.S.A. for all of the above. After an all-american lunch, we split off to see different stuff. A few of our group wanted to check out the awesome parks and outdoor stuff Amsterdam has to offer while others of us, including myself, went to see the Van Gough Museum. It was amazing. Let me just say I have the upmost respect for the guy, but he had some serious issues. He only painted for roughly 8 years before shooting himself in the chest. You can tell he was becoming worse as the years went on by his artwork...Either he had mental issues or simply indluged in too many of Amsterdam's legal illegals...The famous IAmsterdam sign was near there, so of course the cliche, Griswoldish pictures on the sign were taken before making a trip to the Heineken Brewery. I loved it, except there is no rice in their beer. How un-American is that? Yes, I know it's not an American company, so don't give me that. We of course bought lots of worthless nicknacks from the Brewery, including Horne's fashionable Heineken rolling travel bag that we used to put all of our junk in. This led to our last night in Amsterdam...

To start off the last night, we fell for the worst tourist trap I've ever been a part of. I'm blaming the girls for this one. We went to what was called the "Ice Bar." If you're ever in Amsterdam, stay away. I would rather pay 15 euros to let Brock Lesnar crow hop me in the stomach than sit in an oversized freezer, watch some 5 minute long, random 3D video with talking penguins run around asking people for some key to get into an igloo bar. I still don't know what the video's purpose was besides making me mad, cold, and confused. Oh well. We fell for it and you live and you learn. We then proceeded to the same area of clubs/bars that we went to the night before. I mean what better way to continue the night than with a techno pub. I mean seriously. The music is everywhere. Elevators play techno elevator music. Cabs play techno cabbie music. I don't understand. I have this constant beat in my head now. We then proceeded to our last club in Amsterdam. They were having a special...none other than techno. I'm sold that a Taco Bell playing nothing but techno music would be a billion dollar investment in Europe. I've yet to see a Taco Bell and everyone loves techno music. "I'd like a double decker taco, cinnamon twists, and some techno." Boom. Billion dollars in your pocket. I know I would have enjoyed it. You would too. After a small run-in with some locals in which I found myself talking culture with this guy while the group proceeded 200 yards ahead...thanks for that btw, we got in cabs and headed back to the Hostel. After another Hostel slumber party, being registered, and a good night's sleep later, it was time to head back to the UK. As we waited hours in line to check in, unknown to myself, I cut in front of what was a gigantic foreign guy and got my ticket. Again, no one informed me he was angry and he could have literally thrown me across the English Channel. We finally made it back and are safe and sound in Cambridge. Two days from now the 6 of us guys are heading to Switzerland for a relaxing weekend of white water rafting and canyoning in Interlaken, Switzerland. The girls have decided it was best to avoid this trip (babies) and find their own travel plans. I'm really not sure what we are getting ourselves into with this white water rafting and canyoning business, but we have a photographer following us the whole way, so our screaming and crying will be documented for all to see. This will make for some of the best pictures of the trip. Oh, and Interlaken has a Hooters. How American is that. Ok, that's enough from me for now. I cannot believe I'm half way done with this program this weekend. It's going by way too fast. Lot's of memories still to make, and they start this weekend in Switzerland. I'm going to post pics from the weekend soon along with others from other cameras. Hope things are great back in the US and will be talking to you soon. Amsterdam 1 Americans 0

Until my next post,

Life's a garden. Dig it.

Woodard